What do you mean, you don't have a rabbit??

I changed my background again. I don't know why, this place needed a facelift, I think. If I don't like it I will go back to the other one. I'll try this out for a while though.

So I signed up and I'm a Temptation Parties Consultant. Starting to feel a weird pang of 'what have I done?' but if nothing else I just bought like 8 new dildos- and that's worth $140 in itself I guess. That's less than $20 each, and there's a Rabbit in there, so you know- that right there is worth at least $60. Wait, you don't HAVE a rabbit? I have THREE of them!

*The original rabbit, where the controller is connected by a wire and it takes three C batteries.
*A rechargeable rabbit- that takes no batteries and the controller is at the base.
*My NEW rabbit that takes 4 AA batteries, the controller is at the base... and ummm, it thrusts. Can you say... "hell yeah!!"

I have a few people interested in having parties, and really I don't want to do more than two shows a month, maybe three. School takes a lot of mental energy and this class is relatively simple, I don't expect them to stay that way.

Anyway, so I'm gonna try to do a few shows a month- I'm not trying to make millions here- but it will get me out of the house, I can meet new people make SOME money and have a platform to say cunt and cock. Ok, so maybe I won't say 'cunt.' Perhaps I'll go with something nice like 'vag' or 'pussy'. "Vagina" doesn't bother me- but only when used in an anatomical sense. So my mind is filled with ideas for party games. I really DOUBT I will play "who here can deep throat?" cause that will just lead that way for demonstrations and I am not sure I want to go there.

Yesterday I commented that I am on my meds. They are back in my body and taking effect, I can tell because at night, I'm tired. One of the things the Lexapro did for me was help me to sleep at night. It's hard to stay up until 12am studying or otherwise because by 9:30- I'm TIRED. You'd think I was almost 40.

Well, ok, so maybe I AM almost 40. like in 3 years, whatever bitches.

must stop spending

I didn't go crazy spending... but I went through like $1500 in a week. Ok, so I paid at least two months each of my cell phone, electric, and cable bill. that right there is like $1000. I'm not going to stress it- just be careful. I think I should give myself an allowance.

Mike tends to want me to spend money too. Fast food, and 'hey lets go do this' and 'hey can I get this.' I have a hard time saying no- which explains a lot. But I need to chill out and not go crazy with my spending. This padding has to last me until January.

I am quick to want to blame him for everything, sometimes I feel like since he knows there's some extra money in the bank, he has all these things he needs or wants. I gave him money for the month- he gets nothing else. I hate being like, here's your allowance- cause that seems kinda fucked up- but you know, he won't be ASKING me for money and it's not like he NEEDS to be buying a lot. Money is always a source of contention. I know he will be out of the money I gave him and this system will not last long.

Really, I'd just rather he leave me alone all together. That was my hope. He's got some money for his stupid spending and he will just sort of leave me alone. Lets see if he offers to buy ME a meal once in a while.

I swear, I'm taking my meds.

Where my shopping dollars go.

I went to the swap meet today. Not the big one in Costa Mesa but the smaller ghetto one that is local to my house in Cypress. There's two parts to the swap meet- the front, where it's people reselling stuff that is new and 'the back' where it's people selling off their old crap. I hate the back of the swap meet. There's no shade, there's no food vendors- just people and big piles of stuff. Yes, sometimes you can find some interesting things. Cool ashtrays, tea kettles, fancy boxes and sometimes tools for like fifty cents. I get why people like it.

However, I'm not a shopper to begin with. It's not ingrained into me so I will walk through, stop if something catches my eye- and be out of there in like an hour. I am more of a destination shopper. Today I went looking for socks. I got 18 pairs of socks for $10 today. (3-packs were 3 for $5) I bought Alex some picks for his guitar. 4 for $1.00, I bought a new keyboard for Alex's computer cause since he spilled the soda in his, it just doesn't work the same. Mike got his watch band changed out and three links removed for $5.

Bargain shopping is cool, I mean I kick ass with double coupons and a sale flyer. I learned from my mom, who taught me that if I am smart, I can get paper, paper towels, and air freshener for .38 cents. She used to have us all go through a different line with the stuff, coupons and a dollar. She's a genius that way.

I think my mothers proudest day was when I called her and told her that I got all $100 of groceries for $36. Yeah, I really did.

I can kick ass too.

Everyone's an expert at something.

Can I interest you in a vibrator?

So I'm going to go ahead and sign up with Temptation Parties, a la Adam & Eve who I do reviews with already.  I'll talk about my sex toy consultant adventures here- so you all can follow along.

Step 1, sign the papers and fax them in

Step 2, buy more stuff

Step 3,  book a few parties

Step 4, work out my schpiel

Step 5, sell vibes and dildos and make some money

I have no problem standing in front of people and doing this.  I've sold things that I care less about.  This will be fun and really, when girls get drunk, we talk about sex- often.  So why not?

Mike is less than thrilled about it, "What will we tell our parents??"

Ummmmm, that I am paying the electric AND cable bill by selling dildo's.  I mean- who cares?  If any of them ever thought that I wasn't some sort of sexual deviant, well they are way behind the pack.  That's what Mike likes best about me.

Cause it sure the fuck isn't the way I cook!!

HNT and not much else...

So now that my blog us being updated on facebook, there's a good chance that I'm being seen by my old high school friends. I won't, however let that deter me from my blogger, or getting the opportunity to show off my cleavage now and again.

So here's my picture for Half Nekkid Thursday.



I got a tripod so I can take picture now withoput a flash and have them be nice and steady. Lets hope my pictures greatly improve now.



With that, I'm fucking exhausted. Have a great Thursday and be prepared for me to tell you more about my research into the world of home sex parties. Getting closer to picking one.

Boobs and Porn and Dildos, Oh My!

I totally submitted to Tits for Troops this week cause I like to show my support, and you know, I do what I can. It's important, really.



And all I see is "oh my god- hello hips. Is that twisted? I mean 90% of this photo is boobs and what I see is the two curves that swing WIDE outwards. I know, it's twisted and self depricating, but really, it's part of my charm.

--

I got a new book in the mail today "Male Domination and Female Submission." I am doing a book review on Amazon for it. I love reading good erotica almost as much as I love writing it- but something about getting dirty books in the mail is particularly sexy, don't you think? It's as if amidst the bills I'm not paying and the ads for produce and hair care products, there's a place in this world where it's perfectly ok to leave the vanilla at the door and get dragged around by your hair.

--

Speaking of leaving vanilla at the door, I'm thinking about becoming a sex toy consultant and doing those home parties and stuff. I need a way to make some extra money, and I've done the candles and the crafty stuff.

I don't scrap book and I don't burn candles. I don't cook either, nor do make fancy baskets or organize my cabinets into plastic containers.

But dildos, I know. I know that some of those sex toy parties can really be an insane bore. Where a smartly dressed lady goes around calling the clit "the doorbell" (even though women have been explaining for years that it is not something to be PUSHED!) and referring to anal play as "upside down cake" when really it's just toys that go in your butt. I mean, really- buttsex isn't for everyone, but let not compare it to baked goods ok?

I'm trying to find a good company that sells a variety of toys, not just the pretty rabbit vibes, but some edgier stuff also. That does not jack up the prices and I can still make a decent profit. The Hitchaci Magic Wand sells for under $50 almost everywhere online, so I am not going to present it for $75. So far I'm looking at Temptation Parties, who is run by Adam and Eve who I already work with. Their prices are the most reasonable, and I think that makes a difference.

Here are some of my ideas for party games and ice breakers:

"Who here can deep throat?"
"Who's the most experienced/ AKA: a bigger slut than me!"
"The WORST Oral sex Story wins a prize!"
"It's ok to like buttsex, but you don't have to tell!"
"Advice you wish someone had told you about blowjobs."

Really, can you imagine one of my parties?? I think I'd be wildly popular. Wouldn't you like to attend one.

I can see if I can get a whole group of women to say the word CUNT outloud.

Oh that would be a good day.

I've been addicted to you....

I'm so hollow.

I married my father.

I think I did. Really.

I remember more bad things about my step-dad than good. That's cause he really WAS a major dick for a lot longer than he was ever a decent guy. That happened the last few years before he died. The other 11 years he was married to my mom, he really was a prick. He was the only dad I really remember. Unfortunately I have very few memories of my read dad, who died when I was 9.

My step dad locked himself in his room a lot. We assumed he was just in there ignoring us. Maybe he was sleeping, I don't know. There was a lock on the door. He went through phases where he would come out and be semi social, sometimes kind of funny. Sometimes a decent guy- even though there was always this undertone of "Don't piss me off."

Eggshells everywhere.

The husband is very much the same. He goes through these phases where he's a pretty cool guy. He is good with the kids, he keeps the house clean and cooks and does all sorts of normal guy stuff- just so long as you don't piss him off. Then as mysteriously as he came, he's gone again. He's been in bed since Wednesday. And no- not REALLY in bed 24 hours a day, but like 18 hours. He comes out to eat and leave a mess, he grumbles at the kids. And sometimes just to be a bitch I make him come out and watch the kids so I can go do something I don't really NEED to do.

Last night we went to my mom's for a family party that he didn't attend. I came home and brought him some food. And some of My sister in law's AMAZING banana pudding.

OMG this is like bananas and crack
mixed in cream cheese
and covered in cookies.

Crack pudding with bananas.

Which would probably explain why he ate it all. Between 10PM last night, and 6AM this morning.

He ate all the Banana Crack Pudding!

Why am I even surprised??

Now I don't know that my step dad would have done THAT- but it's a characteristic trait. It's that "OMG you are such a selfish prick and THIS is why we don't like you" sort of thing that my dad had, that my husband has.

My mom and step dad were married for 13 years when he died. I really hope I don't have to wait 4 more years...

Real big brains.... (HNT)

If you don't think this is sexy, click... and see what I got in the mail yesterday....

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!!

happy period.... sure.

Remember when tampons actually did what they were supposed to do??

Stay with me here.

Remember back in the day when Tampax meant that you were not going to bleed on your new skirt? When you could safely go to the ladies room every few hours and do a relatively clean exchange of removing tampon, wipe, and then inserting new tampon?

Remember when the tampon actually COLLECTED blood and didn't just merely SLOW it from leaking out and staining your new skirt? When the tampon that was in the toilet expanded and was pretty much filled with whatever menses you were having, leaving NONE on your panties or you know, the seat below you??

I don't have heavy periods. I don't have connected plumbing. I mean, I have the periods of a woman on the pill, assuming you are not unlucky in this sense, and if you are not- then you know what I'm talking about.... relatively light. One heavy day and then too many days of lingering and fading off- but the bulk of it is one, maybe two days. I am one of those women, so I don't bleed a LOT. However, my tampons REFUSE to work.

They don't collect anymore- they just sort of block the exit, and not very well. Why do I continue to leak blood- and then pull out a mostly clean tampon? Explain this to me, someone- please!! The purpose of sticking a wad of cotton INSIDE my vag is so that it doesn't come out like that post sex gush that you get on you way to the bathroom. It's JOB is to collect it all. The only time that it should leak is when the entire tampon is FILLED with blood, and not one cotton fiber BEFORE then. Are you with me here?

I would have a happier period of the tools for the task did their job. My only option is to change my tampon every hour, and then pulling out a TRULY dry tampon, and anyone with a vag knows that HURTS like... pulling out a dry tampon.

And no, I do NOT use too small of a tampon, and NO I do NOT have a LARGE vag either. I'm Asian, we just don't.

Tampax fuckers....

the trashy sex blogger....

So there was a list that went around a few weeks ago of the top 100 sex bloggers, and I hate to be a fucking baby, but I was kinda irked that I wasn't on it. Not me here, but me there... if you know, you know... I won't link. I could have promoted it, asked for votes... all that- but I didn't. I didn't think I gave a damn, but then I didn't show up on the list, and I admit I was kinda hurt.

Friends say it is not a big deal. It's a popularity contest and I was never the prom queen type, but still, even amongst the sex bloggers, the ones that are 'my people' - am I still the slut with her bra strap hanging off her shoulder?

There were quite a few left off the list that I was shocked about... the #1 was right on though.

Sinclair is my butch fantasy.

Palin and Clinton, SNL

Fave TV.

House is one of my favorite shows on TV.  On USA they seem to be showing several hours every night.  It's always exciting to me to know a little bit about what they are talking about.  

However I find it interesting:

There are no nurses, unless someone occasionally yells for one.

The doctors draw their own labs.

They do their own radiology scans.

The doctors go to your house to look for stuff to make sense of your condition.

They do every kind of surgery.

Well, that's ok.  I still like it.  I know for a fact that Neurologists don't look like Patrick Dempsey.

When all else fails...

sunday morning

Lots of tits and hooker talk around here lately...

Today we (the family) are having lunch with my inlaws and my niece. She is living in foster care right now, for all the bad reasons you can imagine. I try not to judge my SIL, because I know she's sick with her addiction, but it's hard not to. I would have taken that little girl in an instant, but I have a hard enough time taking care of my own kids- and I don't have a room for her. I don't have enough ROOMS. The state would not allow me to put her on the couch, or in a bedroom with boys. I asked, I tried. She seems happy right now though- she seems to like the family she is with, and so far it doesn't seem like that beautiful six year old spirit is broken even though she lost her father and her mother is 'out there'. Poor little angel, that is all I think when I see her.

Poor little angel.

Top Heavy

My tits hurt. they feel like they weigh a fucking ton. This is the 'middle' of my cycle, like maybe I'm ovulating, like that means anything at all. Oh, it doesn't. The fact that I ovulate and bleed is just a waste of good cotton and Midol.

But I digress, I took off my bra and I thought they were going to hit the floor (and no NOT cause they hang that low, bitches).

That's the price to pay for real big real boobs.

HNT- my partner in crime

I really didn't have anything good for HNT, but I did snap this picture of Cheryl this past weekend when we were hanging out at the pool. She's way hotter than me anyway....

Happy HNT!!!

husbands and hooking

I drove Mike to his Dr. appointment yesterday. It was our bi-monthly 'conversation.' The most time we spend together all month (x2) and have the same conversation about his health, his meds, our marriage (or what's left of it), sex (or lack thereof) and how I'm not always so pleasant either.

I don't claim to be Little Mary Sunshine, but can you blame me? We talk about the good old days, when he was just a drunk. And eventually the talk hits back to 5 years ago... when it all REALLY went to hell. Yeah, good times, good times.

Usually I just try very hard not to say anything particularly cruel. I smile and play nice. It's easier that way.

---

I had a dream the other night that I lived in my dream house. It had all the amenities I wanted. It had the damn porch swing and one of those islands in the kitchen for the range top. It was pretty and clean and was not overrun with 'stuff'. I still had children.

I also had fantastic lovers and friends and I was happy. In my dream, I had somehow woken up in the middle of a life in progress so I was a bit shocked at how lovely it all was. Then I realized that I was a prostitute. No, there was no exchange of money, and none of my lovers were ultra-skeezy knuckle draggers, but the knowledge was there that I was a prostitute. Interesting. I am trying to wonder what that means? Does it means that I am selling myself short and not living up to my potential? Does it meant that all good things come with a price and if it looks too good to be true, it means you are having sex for money.

Or does it mean that perhaps I have overlooked a vocation that I would not only be good at, but I probably would have pretty flexible hours.

Hurray for Gay Weddings!!

From the Ellen Show. Really so beautiful. How can this be wrong?

click to go to the website.

I don't care if you're a hooker....

This morning I see that some 22 y/o is auctioning off her virginity to pay for her graduate school education.  How much does cherry pie go for these days?  I mean- are there men out there who want to PAY for a virgin??  Ok, are there AMERICAN men who want to pay for a virgin?  I mean, the first time usually sucks- you want to pay that much for sub par?  And she doesn't want it to go to the highest bidder, she wants chemistry.  Oh, ok.  Sure.

Really folks, isn't that straight up prostitution?  And really, I'm ok with that- but lets just call it what it is ok??  Yes, I did say that I'm ok with prostitution.  However, if you take off your clothes at Captain Creme's just to pay the rent, you are a stripper.  It's ok.  Own it.  If you offer sex as a service to men willing to pay for it, then more power to you.  You're a virgin and if it's rare enough to pay for your books and tuition (and really you can only pull this off once), well, then bravo to the girl who thought of the idea.  However, it isn't LEGAL is it??

Go ahead, Natalie, bang away.  Just vag up to what it is your doing.  I'm all for sex and I'm all for education and if you can get them to go together like chocolate and peanut butter, than good for you- however, don't think that what you are doing is all that different (other than the hopefully high price tag of your girlparts) than your sisters gig at the Bunny Ranch.  

It's really really not.

Class One, Week 1.

So this is the end of Week 1 in school. I am glad to be back in and I see that I can't get behind. I have a two page paper due today. I wrote it already, I suspect that it sucks. The topic was vague and combined research stuff with personal experience and goals.

APA format bothers me because the left side is flush, and the right side is left jagged. I am more of a "total justify" so it looks nice and square

It's not esthetically pleasing and it looks wrong, which gives me stress. Also, does a two page paper need a cover sheet? And really, this is stupid:



There's almost more on that cover page example than the actual paper. Seems like the header should start on page two... and really "Running head:" it's supposed to SAY that. That's fucking annoying. Two different resources say that is how it's done. I just want to know WHY??

"We won't vote for an empty skirt."

No, it's not just 1 person sounding off- this blog contains responses and comments and emails from women across the country.


From the About Me section on this blog:

We are not in the habit of criticizing women in the public sphere, as we usually feel we should support our female compatriots with as much encouragement as we can. However, Sarah Palin's record is anti-woman. Feminism is not simply about achieving the power and status typically held by men. It's about protecting and supporting the rights of women of all classes, races, cultures, and beliefs. Palin's record and beliefs do not align with this. She was chosen by John McCain specifically because he believes that American women will vote for any female candidate regardless of their qualifications. He is wrong.

There's also some other good links there.
I admit that I'm not super educated on politics, OR feminism- but I know what I don't agree with. I don't agree with her.

How dare the GOP assume that by placing “a women” on the ticket that women who supported Clinton would be sawed over to the republician party. We are not idiots and we do not choose a candidate simple on the merit of gender. I am disgusted and am even more turned off by John McCain and his judgment.
Sarina Rodriques, 39, Los Angeles, CA

Reblog, send the link out, do your research, voice your opinions.

(Incidentally, the post that I reposted about the list of banned books- is unconfirmed as to the authenticity of it)

Raisin' McCain?

Ok, look dude. We let you get away with "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy." I admit I sing it drunk, loud and proud, but I get that it's just a nice drunk girls excuse to be slutty. Kinda like "Baby Got Back" or even "Closer."

However, are you kidding me with this??

Sadly, no.

Ok so I listened to John McCains speech and I admit, it was good. He is a good speaker and seemingly a man of character. Honestly, until this election, I didn't even know he was a Republican. I don't dislike John McCain. He doesn't freak me out as bad as the rest of his party does.

I'm now watching Andrea Mitchell from MSNBC trying to talk, but she is trapped in a huge storm of red white and blue balloons. She's trying to be serious- but I think she's in Chuck E Cheese's. Tom Brokaw referred to the Balloon Drop as a group of "Balloon Weilding Thugs" and this is the "Where's Waldo" of the convention. Funny.

Is this what Raisin McCain is all about?? Latex torture? Kinda kinky for the right, don't you think???

Books Sarah Palin tried to ban from the Alaska library system.

Post stolen (every word) from RKB who may have taken it from someone else...

The last item is especially troubling. Why would someone try to ban a dictionary?

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Forever by Judy Blume
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women’s Health Collective
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff

I wonder what’s on her “it’s okay to read” list. To me, the idea of banning books or keeping books from kids, like they are so blindly stupid that they will just agree with any old idea they read, is beyond offensive. And, indeed, I’m very curious what’s so scandalous in that particular dictionary. Clearly, that whole preventing her kids from reading about sex worked out very well for her.

by me:  And really... Forever by Judy Blume taught me a lot.  

I didn't know what "coming "was, but I knew I wanted to go there...

HNT

I'm watching the RNC, talking to a lovely friend of mine.

Also handling my newest toy for review. 

The Vergenza.  

Not sure if I want to use it for it's intended purpose, or whack myself over the head with it so I don't have to listen to this anymore.  Puts a new spin on that "Drill Baby Drill" BS they are chanting.

I am not sure when it happened, but Rudy Giuliani is kind of a cock isn't he??  When did that happen?

Sarah Palin writes her own jokes... and she really likes them.  

bleh... whatever.  Happy Half Nekkid Thursday.  

I'm in it for Brandon

Ok I know he's not there. But you know, I always loved him. More than Dylan, which is surprising cause you know me and my thing for the Bad Boys.

I mean, check out that hair!!! He was the smart guy, and the writer- and while I always loved the dirty bad boys, always had girl wood for the smart guys. Still do.



I was a loyal watcher for many years. Many many, until the wedding.
The wedding that wasn't.



And no- I DIDN'T see that coming. I was angry, and I stopped watching until the VERY end when David and Donna DID get married.

So they have brought the show back, and I have talked to a handful of mid-thirty somethings that are secretly tuning in to watch. I'm watching so cause I need some good guilty TV. I was a big Dawson's Creek fan too- even though I got a little burned by that too. I mean, I love Joshua Jackson like a virgin loves prom night, but I still think that Dawson should have gotten the girl. It was HIS creek, you know?

So back to the show. You may not want to see it, but you know, there's this girl...



I mean, holy hot girl, Brenda!! Like I won't sit through this show just to get all cougar gay over HER once a week?

Gabe's B-day!!!

Well, it's his cake so I guess it's ok.



When Alex gets home we're going to the Aquarim. Then maybe go swimming, open presents and have some of this cake. I opted not to have a party for a few reasons.
1) School starts tomorrow and none of his friends were really around this weekend.
2) He's really been acting like quite a little jerk lately.
3) I just cannot afford to have a party for a 6 year old that would have mostly ADULTS.

It's ok though- we'll have a good day and I am sure he'll have a great time.

I'm off my meds- Breathe at your own risk

Mike said to the kids this morning that every time I have to raise my voice, it makes HIS skin crawl.

I should tell him that the sight of him makes my stomach turn, and say it REALLY LOUD!!!

I HAVE lost the ability to give a damn, though. The other day, he fell. This is not new, he falls alot. Over medicated and he gets... fatigued (which is the nice way to put it) and so he has a tendency to fall asleep on his feet. It's maddening really and I just want to tip him over, much like they do COWS. ha ha.

So he will be sitting or standing, and slowly leaning forward... forward... forward, until SMACK his legs finally give out and he hit whatever is in front of him. Many evening I find him with his head in the sink. Last night I found him asleep, leaning into the back of my car. I know, it's fucking ridiculous.

But anyway, the other day he fell, hard. He hit his neck and his jaw on something, I'm not sure what. However, the side of his jaw is swollen. Like there's a big old knot on the side of his jaw like he got hit really hard with a rolling pin.

Man, I never get to have any fun.
--

In case you are wondering, yes I AM off the Lexapro again. I just can't afford it right now. Xanax (as needed) is cheaper and really much more fun for now. I can call her office and get some samples.

Meh... financial aid funding is in a few weeks. Everyone will have to just deal with me until then.