The Belt

I don't belt my kids. Don't get me wrong, I have spanked. I have spanked with a wooden spoon (usually just one to two whacks) and of course, bare handed on the bum when it's appropriate. But I don't belt.

I was belted as a kid. I don't know how many times. There was a wooden paddle in my house, that sadistically had names of all the kids who had been belted with it. I don't really know how that happened. Maybe it was something that was around, and at parties, when parents needed to whoop their kids, it was handy. Thinking back, what a weird fucking concept. That stick was broken over my knee. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember that I was too damn old to be spanked like that. And the last time I was spanked by my step dad (who was the bastard that always doled out that punishment) was with a belt. I remember I was in 7th grade and the offense was stealing $5 to see Purple Rain and being somewhere that I should not have been. That, and a poor interpretation of my diary.

Here's a parenting tip: "He said he wants to fuck me again" when you are 12, sometimes means "He said it- again". NOT 'fucking me-again.' So basically I was beat with a belt because I was supposedly sexually active. Well, that's a proper use of discipline huh? By the way, over the shirt boob touching is NOT sexually active.

And did I straighten out and become a perfect, honest, and virginous girl? Um, no. I just hated my parents for a long time.

I have been poorly advised that a good "lesson" with the belt will straighten out Alex. That a beating, such as the one that I received when I was way too old for it will solve all of my problems. Yes, because it did wonders for me. Picture this, if I may creep you out for a second, at age 12, having to pull my pants down and lay down on my parents bed while my step dad watched. That, in itself, is wrong on many many levels. Then picture me having my 13 year old son do the same thing, drop trou and lay down. That's just wrong. Sick and wrong. Besides the fact that these days, you can have social services on your door for that kind of thing, it just isn't right for me or my kids.

Is spanking considered child abuse? Generally, my opinion is no. I think there are times when a firm hand is certainly effective. Times when a good spank on the bare bottom, a slap on the hand, or a knock upside the head or a child is appropriate and necessary when it works. However, I noted when Alex was around 7 or 8, that it was no longer getting my message across. My parents message, during my age 12 belt beating, was one of power and control. They wanted me to know that they were the 'boss of me'- and apparently of my body and my sexuality too. The $5 was not the issue, and I knew that right away. Yeah, that worked out well, didn't it?