Christmas starts today.

Christmas is in two days, or one day depending on when you do your celebrating. We are doing some celebrating today. We are going to the e-inlaws because it's more convenient that doing it tomorrow because lots of the family has to work. I haven't seen some of his aunts and uncles in a few years. I have been somewhat removed since the separation, although I don't feel like it because I still see his parents.

I wish I had presents to bring them, but I don't. I am bringing them 4 bags of Dale and Thomas popcorn, and really, that is a great present, if you ask me. Besides, I think the gifts I buy them are never really anything super. I mean, my inlaws have everything they need. They are not rich, but they are comfortable and they live somewhat simple lives. So gift buying for them is not easy- they have everything they need or really use. I am sure if I bought my mother in law a really ugly ceramic figurine of medusa- she would be really gracious about it. She's like that with me. I do like my inlaws, they are nice people and while they tend to cramp e-husbands style, they have never cramped mine. I am lucky that way. My mother in law doesn't get on my case about anything. The first few years we were married, she gave me crock pots and domestic-ish books, but since then she has learned that I am not domestic by most means and she has stopped doing that. We went through some pajama years, in which she bought me warm, long pants, long sleeve pajama's, which, much to e-husbands dismay, I loved.

My ex mother in law, my EX husbands mother did not like me much. She tried to. In the beginning she did, but she flipped around a lot. We had words, more than once and every time
it was because her and her son would get into an argument and she would blame me for it. That I somehow had brainwashed him. Whatever.

Extended family is always challenging. I think joining my family is tough because we are run mostly by strong women and passive men. The women who have married into the family have all had issues with us. Probably because the women who have married in are also strong women. We can add all the passive men we want to, but when you add another strong woman to the mix, there is some time of adjustment. Family is important to us. We are not a family that only gets together on holidays. Immediate family includes aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. It's overwhelming if you don't want to play along. I suspect this is the same thing that happened with my ex-inlaws.

I think they key to it is just being flexible. That is how I think I have kept peace with my e-inlaws through all of the mess with e-husband and dividing holiday times.

Flexible. The holidays don't last very long and who cares if you have to get together on the 23rd?